Both vitamin B & D are linked with depression when levels are low, but my phone must’ve assumed I only meant B and omitted the D. -__-’ AI isn’t always helpful lol. But yes, a few minutes of sun each day can help a lot. Otherwise vitamins are a good way to supplement the two.
If you can question if you’re bad or good, then you’re likely good. A bad person wouldn’t even ask the question.
With that said it sounds like you likely have Major Depressive Disorder along with feelings of some guilt over the partner you’ve lost. My suggestion as a former psychiatrist, is you speak to your general physician, request a referral to see a therapist asap.
In the meantime a good doctor will suggest you start a medication like Prozac (but it can take 6 months to take effect and there’s alternatives like Celexa, Zoloft, Cymbalta). And all I can suggest try getting outside more and get some vitamin B and D, even if it means sitting in your backyard and reading a book for 5 minutes.
Also, the next time these thoughts come up, try practicing controlling your breathing. These thoughts are common now, so you need to try reasoning with that part of yourself, assert yourself over your negative thoughts and calmly remind yourself; you are in control. You can still make changes and it’s never too late for a second, or even third chance.
Interesting direction, any recommendations? As I feel like I’m starting all over again these days lol.
Good thing I have getting used to it
Oh you definitely get used to it, you just randomly start hearing what you think is an old pay phone.
My sister is the same, she’s an ER nurse in a high traffic area and almost always strips in the garage and throw’s everything in a hot wash. Based on her stories, I’d be burning a few of the scrubs lol.
When you think about it, it makes sense if you imagine spez was dropped on his head a lot as a child.
Don’t forget the lead and steel.
Jokes on me, my house still has some lead pipes
fix’d that for you.
Not to mention, Elon has a flatter front than a Ken doll.
Here you go, whipped this together as I hate the original: 
That also, I’ve never received so many stares. Like I was a vampire from Twilight, sparkling in the sun, or had a huge booger in my nose.
It’s unfortunate that it also requires you to live within shooting range of North Korea and China. Because Japan is a nice vacation spot.
Thanks, yeah it was bad but over the years it stopped haunting me. Did take a while to get adjusted to reality, since in the coma it was a constant game, making me think I was awake… but, limbless, attacked or dismembered, among other things.
The days without eating weren’t too bad, it was really the removal of all the tubes like you mentioned, I was intubated and had a breathing device inserted that i apparently tried removing twice while coming out.
I kinda tried killing a nurse a few times that I was sure was attempting to kill me lol, thankfully I was so weakened I moved like a tree sloth. The worst was always catheter removal, as they always left it inflated and needed me to be awake when they pulled it out. They did it six times… my genitalia has never forgiven me. It’s even worse when they put it in if you’re alert, it feels like someone is putting a straw in.
Technically dying several for minutes after a stroke due to an aneurysm, worst thing I ever felt. They considered me dead, yet somehow everything restarted and I woke up gasping incapable of speech. I was thrown in an ice bath and they induced a coma. And yes, you can hear the outside world and the worst experience I’ve ever suffered mentally. I was in there for what I assumed was decades of masochist torture for realizing I wasn’t awake, despite my minds initial insistence I was. I still question if the acceptance, would have meant my dying and the torture was the pain of trying to stay alive. I eventually woke up to discover it had only been 10 days, and I was capable of basic speech, but my muscles had decayed to the point simple movement was almost impossible. In under 2 weeks, I relearned English and how to walk again. Since therapy, nothing is even remotely scaring as what your own mind can do to you.
What a seriously depressing thing to hear, but I can’t say it’s surprising anymore.
But, but… think of the corporations, and the profits they could miss out on! /s
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